First Night Back at UCLA..

It's 10pm and I am sitting in the dark in our hospital room. Tony has been given his medications for the night and is drifting off to sleep. Tony's return from Huntington Hospital to UCLA this afternoon went smoothly. I am relieved that he is much calmer this time around and is confident as he begins his second round of chemotherapy, in the morning. The familiar nurses and care partners have helped both of us feel welcomed back to the 6th floor. We were glad to find out that Megan and Miki would be Tony's nurses tonight.

Both Tony and I have accepted our "new reality". It no longer feels like a bad dream or as if we are in shock. It is now a journey that we are taking together. Each day is the same and yet a little different. Tony's humor has returned, and he smiles more now. Tony's weight dropped to 165 pounds, but he has gained 5 pounds over the past few days and now weighs 170. I continue to
order food, food and more food for Tony, who has been compliant and has had a very healthy appetite over the past 2 weeks.
Drinking regular fluids is impossible for Tony, until his swallowing problems are resolved. To that end, the Head/Neck and Swallowing doctors will see Tony tomorrow and discuss possible remedies. Tony's strong desire, at present, is to be able to gulp down an ice cold drink without having to add in the "thick-it" powder.......yuck!

Cards and letters continue to come in the mail, and I bring them to the hospital and share them with Tony. So many kind and caring words have been conveyed from our family and friends. We hold them all close to our heart(s). Tony and I talk often about enjoying our family and friends again, outside of the hospital. We hope that becomes a reality.

With that I say goodnight and blessings to all of you.